I haven’t written a blog in months. This is due to a plethora of reasons. I’ve been engaging with the world in a way I never did. This past year has gone by in a flash with new adventures that have consumed me and taken me away from actually sitting down and writing my reflections and insights (which are profoundly relevant to my experience).
I have now been on Facebook for three full years, owned a smartphone for a little over two, and these two intrusive modalities have changed everything. There’s much nuance to these platforms, not only good or bad. To say I’ve been distracted is putting it mildly; I am burned out from all the noise and clutter being forced on my brain at every turn. As an intuitive who works with both people and animals it’s of the highest importance that I have downtime and relaxation. These two states are not compatible with being on social media at every waking hour on a daily basis. The fatigue I have come to know is one of many layers regarding how I FEEL I am showing up in this world and how it relates to my gift of helping animals and people.
Who I am doesn’t correspond well with being on Instagram and Facebook. I think many postings are inane and tedious. I love cute animal videos and beautiful quotes and pictures as anyone would, but not all of the time, and not shoved at me begging for a like or comment. There is so little room for ambiguity or contradiction. I’m self-conscious about what I say because it is bound to either offend or be so bland as not to mean anything at all. I hate being bored and, more than that, I hate boring others.
I spent two months this past year in Costa Rica working with horses. So many interesting occurrences and details took place. I feel I’ve evolved due to being in this magical place which is unlike anywhere I had known in the past. I often thought to myself how come I’m not promoting my work, how come I’m not journaling and letting people know, both those close to me or not, what’s going on? The reason? I don’t know how to begin to articulate my experience. I don’t even particularly want to, depending on what it is. I’m not into this culture of endlessly sharing every cool, interesting event taking place in my life. Like I’ve stated, this past year has been filled with stuff that I couldn’t have foreseen on any level. This is basically the most exciting thing about being alive – the unknown and all the possibilities the universe has to offer. These past 11 months have been filled with deeper friendships than I’ve ever known, messages from animals that feel so right and relevant to what I need, and the absolute and utter chaos that results from putting myself out in the world to date and actively seek the person I want to share my life with.
Until a few years ago, I thought my life was over. I was in a perpetual state of pessimism and abject misery. I only lived to wake up and fall back asleep. I didn’t like being outside or with other people. Now, it is the opposite. I can’t stay home and look forward to what’s to come. Every man I meet is a gateway to something new. Every workshop I lead or participate in provides growth, lightness and darkness that I cherish. I LOVE many people in my life. It’s a whole new experience and one that I could never take for granted.