Recently I reconnected with someone who, many years ago, was a good friend. We hadn’t had contact in fourteen years except for one chance encounter. Several years ago, I had given up the thought of resuming this friendship. When we became reacquainted, as women in our mid-thirties, things picked up right where we left off! Even with all the years of estrangement, way more than the years we shared as friends, we immediately clicked back to a level of familiarity and comfort that cannot in any way be forced or manufactured. This got me thinking: what does it mean to feel connected and have chemistry with another soul?
I’m quite picky about who I share my life with. There are, of course, levels of relationships, i.e, acquaintances, people I’m friendly with for one reason or another, good friends who are a regular presence, and then there are the people on another level – a level of love and deep affection that so dearly matter and would leave a big hole if they were no longer around.
For a good chunk of my youth, I separated myself from everyone. I spent years in solitude due to trauma and an unconventionally, unique existence that left me hurt and needing time apart from the obligations of dealing with the outside world. There were years where I felt elated and excited to owe no one and have zero responsibilities to another soul. At some point, those feelings were replaced with the realization that, in fact, I did need and want friendships even with all the complexity they entail.
When I click with someone and they click with me, the synchronicity is nothing short of a miracle. I’m always on some level surprised when I enjoy the company of another. A lot of people are okay and easy enough, but I’m talking about the joy that takes place when a great conversation occurs, or laughter erupts that’s so hysterical it’s painful. I do not take this for granted. Ever. I know what it’s like to really be alone for long, extended periods of time. I still love my alone time, my solitude, my world and inner life where no one can enter, but I am truly enamored with several people now in my life.
When there’s chemistry, nothing is forced. The conversation flows and time stands still. A great meal shared, a bottle of wine, or sometimes a movie can take a backseat to a wonderful, fun time of interest and amusement. When I’m with this friend of mine it feels like no time has passed even though so many things have shifted and morphed in each of our lives. We have a good time and what can be better than that?
Well, hanging out with my cat Bubby might trump all.